Lately

This month is going by so fast when I realize it's only 17 days until Christmas; but then again SO LONG since this baby will NOT make her appearance yet. 
We actually set up all our Christmas stuff the week of Thanksgiving since we went out of town for the weekend.  Jaycee had so much fun helping Craig put the tree up and she loved putting the ornaments on.  It's pretty funny because there's a spot on the tree where about 1/3 of all the ornaments are because that's where she could reach.  I didn't change it-even though I'm usually OCD about things like that-I just think it's too cute.  We plan on starting to wrap presents today while we watch mommy's favorite Christmas movie Elf.  Jaycee has been obsessed with Polar Express and has learned that Santa is bringing her presents.  If you ask her she'll even tell you that she wants him to bring her a pink kitchen and a baby doll.  We haven't done much else for Christmas but hope to do more the next couple weeks.  We'll for sure need to make cookies; decorate a gingerbread house; go see Christmas lights;  What are some of your favorite things to do during this time of year? 

I do feel bad for little Jaycee and for my dear, sweet hubby.  He's had to deal with such a roller coaster woman!  I feel like I'm already in post-pardom mode.  One day I'm super happy and just fine with this baby staying in me.  One day I'm super emotional and just cry.  One day I'm frustrated that I can have contractions all day long and the minute I lay down to go to bed they stop.  Sometimes I'm stressed with my calling and feeling like I have so much to do.  Also stressed because my "friend" who was going to watch Jaycee while I'm in labor, informed me that she's going out of town 12-14.  My other friend wants to watch her but she works so if it's in the day time I pretty much have no one that's close.  I do have another person I could ask but she lives 30 miles in the opposite direction of the hospital!  So I just pray that this baby will come already!  Sheesh.  It's emotionally draining.  I know she'll come but it's just hard because I compare it to Jaycee which was 12 days earlier.  Also because I wanted to have her here so we can get that out of the way and enjoy our little family with the holidays.  I feel like I'm putting things on hold until the day comes.  It consumes my mind ALL DAY LONG!  I'll read things like "eat spicy food"  and I've officially have tried everything.  I do notice a lot of contractions when I go for my walks but the past 2 days have been raining and today is snow and wind....brrrrr... I even walked 1.5 miles yesterday in the rain.  Picture it: a 9 month pregnant woman in capris (it was prob 40 degrees out but I was hot), raincoat that's too tight because I'm huge, my cankles, my tennis shoes on that I have to loosen them so much that there's no shoelace to tie so its tied in a knot, my earphones in, and holding an umbrella in the rain.  Ya I'm that desperate!  Uggghh! 

So in all my down times especially yesterday, our home teachers wanted to come visit.  I was not feeling up to it and just in the pits all day.  But I didn't want to cancel and had a feeling it'd be good for me.  They delivered a message that I needed to hear.  That through these holiday seasons I need to be grateful!  So while I'm complaining and crying I should be thanking my Heavenly Father that I can even get pregnant, still can feel her kicking, and the fact that I already have a sweet little girl to love.  I could feel the spirit in our home and it calmed me.  That's one thing I love about the gospel.  It truly puts things into perspective.  We had a fun night talking and visiting and listening to Jaycee talk to them.  She has quite the personality.  Especially when she feels comfortable with someone.  So therefore, while I'm struggling to overcome this hard time-I'm gonna think about my blessings and remember how I felt last night.